squid flavored pea (sweetpeatn) wrote in polyparents,
squid flavored pea
sweetpeatn
polyparents

A few months ago I made 2 posts about my son and his net relationship with a woman twice his age. Here and here. The condensed update is that they did have a real life meeting over the summer and they continue to talk on a daily basis.

Just when I think to myself, "Okay it isn't really that bad and you blew everything out of proportion", something new pops up.
First my son decided he wanted to finish his senior year in public school with his friends. I am very proud of him for making this decision. It would have been too easy for him to decide to get his GED and not finish. He does have a pretty good head on his shoulders.

The issues that have come up that bother me are

1) She still isn't working
2) They met in Virginia. I was told she was going to visit friends and this was a yearly trip for her. He went down there to join her. One of the persons she met was also from their WoW guild. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I found out, it isn't a yearly trip. She went specifically for the purpose of meeting this 2nd person. Who moved back to Texas with her. As soon as she got back, divorce proceedings started. Her husband filed. In short, she lied about her husband being okay with her meeting and having sex with people in her WoW guild.
3) She is trying to convince him to quit high school and move to Texas after Christmas. Since he's 18 now I don't really have much choice in what he wants to do.


We have talked about it. He is not moving until he graduates. Not because he doesn't want to, but because my family has already made plans for their family vacations to revolve around graduation so that they can come up here to see him graduate and he doesn't want to disappoint them. Everyday though I get the "I'd be happier if I were in Texas" pleading.

He doesn't see anything wrong in what would be his living situation. Her, her 10 year old son, the other boyfriend who is in his mid 20's, and my son. Until he found a job the sole provider in the house would be the 20 something. Well she does get some sort of government aid. Not sure if it is welfare or disability. My son doesn't know either.

I am not so much bothered by the fact that his first relationship is a poly relationship. The 3 of them did spend a week together this summer and plus all of their WoW time and the daily conversations that include the 3 of them. From what I can tell there is a lot of communication, my son is not bothered by the other boyfriend and enjoys the friendship the 2 of them have.
What does bother me, is I'm afraid that real life is going to kick him in the ass. One week of great sex in a hotel without any responsibilities is not the same as sharing a house with other people.
The agreement we have come to is that he will move down after he graduates, provided that he has enough money saved up to make his car payment for 1 month, his share of the rent for the first month he is there, and money to come home on if things don't work out.
I don't like it, but some things he needs to learn on his own. That doesn't make it easy to sit back and watch.
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